Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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