Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
