Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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