walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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