We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
"it" just moved
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
