Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
