mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
