Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
