after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm just crazy horny about you
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have post one night stand depression
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
