I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
