ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
