hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize