32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
