By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I currently don't understand fingers.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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