He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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