Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
