dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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