you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
