You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
