bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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