I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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