is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
