i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
