If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
