I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
