After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
