Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
