I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
