i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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