Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm like, not good at living.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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