end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
