I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
