had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
