i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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