Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
