New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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