I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
