she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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