But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
