Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
