my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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