dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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