great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
