oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
