I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
