He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
