And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
