My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
