my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
