my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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