You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
